It’s Okay to Not Finish
Sometimes it’s the wise, healthy, loving and responsible thing to not finish something.
Like ending unhealthy relationships.
I remember when my first boyfriend texted me, asking if we could get back together.
“No. I’m actually glad you broke up with me last month,” I texted back. “It’s good we aren’t together.”
He begged me a couple more days but finally gave up. I think I dated him in the first place because he was the first guy I liked that had liked me back. Finally! Someone was showing interest. So, I ignored the red flags, the character traits I didn’t love. Because, what if this was as good as it got? What if saying no to this relationship meant I would live alone the rest of my life?! That I’d end up with five cats and no man?! The horror!
A past co-worker put it powerfully once, “It’s better to be single than married and miserable.”
So, yes. I didn’t continue pursuing that relationship. It was hard to walk away. There were days I cried and felt lonely, felt envious of my friends getting engaged. But, I decided to stand on the promise of Psalm 337:4, “Delight in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.” By faith, I chose to picture a future where me being married was a sure thing. I spent more time with God, and my desire to get married didn’t fade. The closer we get to God, the more our desires align with his. So, I knew he shared my desire for me to be a wife one day.
I wrote down a non-negotiable list for my future husband, naming all the traits a man MUST have to be worthy of me, a daughter of the Most High. None of them were physical traits (except I put in a request that God would make him taller than me, but told him it wasn’t a deal breaker). And, you know what? A few years later, God orchestrated a seamless love story with my now husband, Mark. He not only checked all the boxes on my list, but also had more wonderful and godly traits I hadn’t thought to include.
Walking away, not finishing — sometimes it means we set ourselves up for something even better. Something worth the wait. Don’t settle for Mr.Right-Now, hold out for Mr.Perfect-For-You.
I’ve also stopped workout videos when I tripped or didn’t feel good suddenly. I’ve stopped running in the park due to intense side cramps. I didn’t go to a half marathon I signed up for either due to a knee injury I got a week before the race. Not following through is not a failure. Reframe it instead as being a success in listening to your body. Did it suck to not be able to run in a race I’d been training for? Yup, but it was the right thing to not run injured.
Sometimes continuing your original plans or what you said you would do makes things worse. Running that race would have damaged my knee more.
It’s okay for plans to change! It’s okay to pivot from your original plan. Ask, “Would God be cool with me switching things up?” Swing your thoughts from them to him when considering changing plans.
“What are you going to do once you graduate?” It’s an annoying question most high schoolers get several times a day once they approach grade 12. I find myself asking graduates that now, too! It just comes out of my mouth before I can stop it, even though I promised myself I’d never be that person.
“Oh, I’m going to university to become a dietitian,” was my eighteen-year-old response to that question when I graduated in 2010.
Guess what, though. I only did one year, then I dropped out. I didn’t finish my degree, and I don’t regret that. It was the right thing to do. Sometimes you don’t know the right fit until you try, and that was the case for me with post-secondary schooling. I realized by doing a practicum and taking some university classes that being a dietitian was not what I wanted for my life.
Was it a failure? A waste of money? No. I learned a ton about myself that year. I learned so many valuable life lessons about living on my own. Sometimes knowing what you want to do in life comes by first learning what you DO NOT want to do!
I’m not saying when things get hard, just quit. What I am saying is there are times to end before the finish line. Not always, but definitely sometimes.
How do we know when to press through and when to end things? Consult God. Let HIM have the final say on the matter — not your best friend, not your co-worker, not your sister or mother-in-law, not that stranger or Instagram troll.
Scripture says we can be led by peace, that all who are sons are God are led by the Spirit and that wisdom from God is peace giving (Isaiah 55:12, Romans 8:14, and James 3:17). It also says in Isaiah 30:21 that we will hear a voice telling us, “This is the way. Walk in it!”
So, set aside time to chat with God about stopping or continuing down the path you are on. Fast from food or social media or whatever. Turn down the volume on other things and distractions, so you can have the voice of God turned up in your life over this matter. Replace the time you’d be doing that thing (eating, scrolling, etc.) and up your time in the Word, an excellent place to hear from God. He can speak to you about any topic through any section of the Bible. It’s that powerful of a living book.
P.S. — Did this post bless you? I encourage you to head over to my IG @nutritionwithnyla where I often post devotional style things.
I am a Christian life coach, and I love helping my virtual clients and follower friends learn to live that abundant life God purchased on the cross for them! Free of fear and people pleasing, and full of joy and peace!