Don’t Set New Year’s Resolutions… Do This Instead!
It’s the same story every year. December rolls around, and you start looking to January 1 and thinking about all the ways you want to change your life next year. While I love the concept of a fresh start and setting goals to become the best version of yourself, I believe there’s a reason why studies show that only 8% of Americans who make a New Year's resolution actually keep them all year, and 80% have failed by the start of February. There simply has to be a better way to invest in our health that will actually lead to long-term, sustainable results.
For a few years now I have tried to approach my own New Year’s resolutions with intention and thoughtfulness, and along the way I discovered a process that has worked well for me! I’ve started sharing this process with the women I coach, and it has been amazing to watch how it has enabled them to reach their goals in a way that feels joyful. Below I’ve broken down this process so that you can hopefully experience the same joy and success when it comes to your own goals for the new year!
How to Set Goals that Matter & Pursue Them With Joy!
The Big Shift
The first step you need to make in order to set better goals is to change the question you’re asking yourself from “What do I want to do?” to “What do I actually want?” For example, a common resolution is to lose weight. Losing 10 pounds might be what you want to do, but what is it that you actually want?
To feel confident in your body? To have more energy throughout the day?
Whatever it is, getting to the core of what you actually want will help you make sure you are setting goals that matter! This is crucial because many people set goals they think will give them what they want, and then they end up disappointed when they reach that goal and don’t feel any different.
While losing weight might feel like the secret to happiness, I can tell you from personal experience, and from many of the women I’ve worked with, that losing weight is not a guaranteed path to what many of us want (body confidence, more energy, increased strength/flexibility, etc.). Obviously the weight loss example is just one of many that illustrate the same concept:
I want to make more money. VS. I want to feel secure in my finances so money doesn’t have to be a point of stress.
I want to buy a new house. VS. I want to create a home I love where I can comfortably open my doors to friends and family.
I want to take a trip to Italy. VS. I want to experience new cultures and gain a deeper understanding of the world.
I want to reiterate that none of the first versions of these goals are bad or wrong, but I hope you can see how uncovering your true desire helps you gain clarity around what is motivating you to pursue that goal. When you start by making this one shift in how you set goals you’re able to craft a path toward what you actually want and can do so with confidence and clarity.
Accomplishing vs Becoming
When we step back and consider what we truly want, we often see that our true desires are more about the person we want to become or things we want to experience than they are about the accomplishments themselves. Once you can recognize this shift in your life, you can begin to set goals that really matter. While reaching new milestones or achieving new things can feel great, it is often a temporary high that won’t lead to a deeply fulfilling life. If we allow our focus to rest on being more like the person God created us to be, then we can work toward things that will create lasting peace and joy.
Focus on setting goals that help you become more like the person you were created to be, rather than what you’re accomplishing, and I promise you that the path forward will be clearer and more enjoyable!
Make a Plan
Now that you’ve determined what you really want and how it will help you become more like the person you were created to be, it’s time to make a plan to move toward those goals! Here are a few important questions I want you to consider when making a plan.
What are the necessary steps I will need to take to reach this goal?
What is one thing I can do on a daily basis to move closer to this goal?
Write down exactly what you need to do to accomplish this goal.
Other Questions to Ask Yourself
What habits can I create that will naturally lead to this goal being achieved?
What will I have to give up? (Remember the idea of point A versus point B)
What do you need to do to set yourself up for success?
Do you need to buy something (a book, new running shoes, etc.)?
Do you need to create space (clear out your closet, designate a space for your morning quiet time, set up a mini workout room somewhere in your home)?
Do you need guidance or support (signing up for a course, joining an online membership, hiring a coach, etc.)?
What obstacles should you anticipate?
Get in Community
This last piece is without a doubt THE most important one — find a community of people who can encourage and support you as you pursue your goal! Whether you join a local group, get involved with a program at your church, or simply gather a group of friends to join you on your journey, when you are intentional about pursuing your goals alongside others, your chances of success increase greatly.
If any of your goals include living with more peace on a daily basis, feeling more confident in your body, developing deeper friendships or investing in your relationship with the Lord, then I would love to invite you to join the Stand Unshaken Collective! Inside the Collective we offer Christian yoga videos, Biblical meditations, daily devotionals, Bible studies and access to an incredible community of women who are all working toward the same goal — developing daily rhythms of wellness that help them live with more peace everyday! If that sounds like the support you need to accomplish your goals this year, then I’d love for you to join us inside the SU Collective!